bullying

The theme of this year’s anti-bullying week is Choose Respect. We have been working with our students on this theme using assemblies and our tutor programme, using the Votes For Schools resources I outlined last term.

In 2018, 98% of young people told the Anti-Bullying Alliance that showing respect to each other is important and that it is possible to be respectful even if you disagree with someone else. Students have been working together to think about how to resolve conflict respectfully.

We have been teaching our students that respectful behaviour is accepting, recognising or admiring another person’s behaviour, achievements or values. It is important to show respectful behaviour to everyone in our world. Displaying respectful behaviour can feel easy when everyone agrees and has the same plans. But when there is conflict, it can be much more challenging.

Facing and dealing with conflict in our lives is part of growing up. But if we don’t resolve issues, they can affect our relationships with other people. Without resolution, behaviours can quickly become toxic or unhealthy. Learning how to handle disagreements respectfully can help you to have more positive relationships. It can also improve your mental health and wellbeing.

Sometimes, when we experience conflict, it can lead to us acting or speaking in a disrespectful way towards someone else. This is often because we feel strongly about something or someone. his can cause further conflict. In the most extreme cases, it could even lead to bullying. While we might not behave this way on purpose, it is important that we recognise when we haven’t chosen to be respectful.

We have been working with our students on the importance of learning to agree to disagree. This is a way of showing respect for someone’s values or ideas, even if you do not agree with them yourself. We have been thinking about different scenarios, and how to approach them respectfully.

Even though conflict might make us feel uncomfortable, it’s a normal part of life. The main thing we need to know is how to respond to conflicts or disagreements and make sure we feel confident we can resolve them. We’ve then encouraged our students to vote in the weekly Votes for Schools poll: “do you know how to resolve conflict respectfully?”

What our students say: the student statement form

We continue to promote kindness to everyone in our community. However, part of growing up is learning how to manage relationships with peers and how best to handle conflicts. Our stance of bullying is clear (see our Anti-Bullying Policy), and we encourage students to let us know when they have worries and concerns.

We introduced our online “Student Statement Form” in 2023 so that students could share their concerns discreetly either in school or from home. This year we have also introduced a system for making sure that all students making a statement receive an email to confirm that their concern has been followed up and appropriate action taken.

In Term 1 this year there were 118 statements submitted about 57 different concerns. This was a mixture of statements from students with a concern and those who had witnessed an incident and wished to support their peers.

All of these reports were followed up by staff and have resulted in a range of follow up work including further monitoring, conversations with the students and their parents , supported mediation, completion of materials to teach about wider issues such as managing friendships, inappropriate language, racism, or homophobia. We have also issued Time Out detentions, Refocus Room sanctions, and Internal or External Suspensions in more serious cases.

Our most recent “Our School” Student Survey showed that students have a good awareness of the Student Statement Form and are confident to use it. We want to make sure that parents and families also know about this system, and how well it is working. If you have a child at Churchill, please can you check that your child knows about the Student Statement Form and encourage them to report any concerns? This will help us to ensure that all our students continue to feel confident and safe in school. Thank you!

This week students at the Academy have been thinking about bullying and “banter.” We started by defining our terms. What is bullying?

The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological.
It can happen face to face or online.

Banter, on the other hand, is defined as “the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.” This makes it seem like banter is okay, but bullying is not. However, it can be very difficult to draw a line where the “exchange of teasing remarks” tips over into “intentional hurting.” It is also the case that what someone intends as “playful and friendly” may not always be received in the same manner. So – where is the line?

We asked students to explore different statements about bullying, and to discuss whether they agreed or disagreed with them:

If someone is my friend, we can banter about whatever we like – agree or disagree?
People should lighten up and know when to take a joke – agree or disagree?
Saying “it’s just banter” or ending a message with “LOL JKZ” makes it okay – agree or disagree?

We discussed how there is no such thing as simple banter. It’s a complicated thing, where there may be large gaps between the intention and the receipt of words and actions. This is illustrated below, in the intersections between the circles, where it is impossible to tell whether someone is being friendly, ignorant or malicious:

And so, because it is so complicated, we concluded that we should always err on the side of caution. If there is a risk that our words or actions might hurt or upset someone, we should not say or do those things. Banter is not okay – because once the damage is done, no amount of apology can undo it. A culture where banter is permitted is one where bullying can easily take root.

Banter allows bullying to exist in plain sight

We also gave students tips on what to do if they are concerned about banter or bullying:

If students are concerned they should speak to their tutor, Head of House, or a trusted adult in school – if bullying is reported, any member of staff at the Academy will take it seriously and pass it on to make sure it is thoroughly investigated. But prevention is better than a cure, and if we all think carefully about our words and actions before we say or do things, everyone’s lives will be better.